Sunday, June 8, 2014

"The Fire of His Love"...

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In all honesty, for the past 20+ years, Sundays have become bittersweet for our family. The blessings that have come from our husband and father being a church music director far outweigh any of the negatives. But rather than looking forward to attending church together, and spending a day resting and recreating, it always means "daddy has to work". And often, there are functions and meetings that prolong his time away. This puts a wrench in many weekend activities. My illness makes it impossible for me to be able to commit to any plans away from home without his help. Thus, we are either late for every function, or just decline. It's a bummer sometimes. We are not as close to our extended family and friends as we once were. Everyone else has the weekends off, and that's when we are least available. But, it's also a blessing in disguise because we treasure our time at home together. We truly value what a precious event each Sunday is... a day of worship and rest... and that is what we endeavor to do. We try never to go anywhere, especially now that we homeschool. We prefer outings during the week when everyone else is at school and work.

So, each Sunday morning, I go nuts getting four children ready for church, and attempt to reflect on the few words of scripture I hear read between my four year old son and four year old granddaughter's questions and shenanigans. I spend a lot of time making the "shush" sign with my finger over my mouth. But each week, as I collapse on my knees, and wonder if my antenna is even programmed to receive the Good Lord's message.... I hear Him. I feel Him. He washes me with His peace, and reminds me that this is my ministry. It isn't pretty. It isn't silent. It's noisy. It's busy. It's usually messy. But I am where I need to be, doing what I need to be doing. And I feel Him pour His grace on me just for "showing up", for being present, for trusting that His grace is not dependent upon my ability, but that it flows free as long as I am open. And I know He loves that my little ones are there, learning, growing, "being" in His presence right beside me. I always feel better after church than I did before. I am always so happy we were there, even if I can't remember what the sermon was about.

Then, we head home. Inevitably, the children ask what the plans are for the day, and when daddy will be home. Today is the feast of Pentecost. For Roman Catholics, it is the third biggest feast day of the year, though the general populous may not realize that in comparison to the celebrations of #1, Easter, and #2, Christmas. But that's ok. It's almost why I prefer it. No presents exchanged among us, just received. Ironic isn't it? The one feast that is ACTUALLY about the GIFTS!!! Our 12 year old suggested that the best way to celebrate Pentecost would be with a fire. Sweet, considering we have a fire just about every Sunday night from Memorial Day through Labor Day. But, it made my heart happy to know that the frequency does not dull the special meaning of it all. We will sit around the fire, and while roasting wieners and marshmallows, we will talk about the burning flames, the embers, the working of the Holy Spirit, in us and through us, and all those gifts. My husband will bring out his guitar, and we will sing and pray "Come Holy Ghost and enkindle in us the fire of Your love."

I guess, in the end, the truth is that there's a lot more sweet than bitter. "Thank You, Lord for this day of rest."

2 comments:

  1. Hi Linda,
    I've just over from the Creatively Made Business Facebook page. This is such a beautiful post! I've just seen a bit of your artwork, but it is lovely.

    Your newest follower-
    Jeanette

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Jeanette <3
      Just visited your site. Love it all :)

      Delete

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